Thursday, June 22, 2006

Everything's eventual

I've been doing a lot of thinking about what I want to do with my life, what I want to be when I grow up, even who I want to be when I grow up and the conclusion I've come to is... I still don't know. Is that sad, bad, normal, a problem? I don't know, it just seems like there are so many things I'm interested in that I can't quite pick one so I ended up in the banking profession as a sort of accident rather than really by choice, it's not hard work, the hours are good, my coworkers are, for the most part, pleasant and easy to get along with, oh yeah, there are annoyances of course, I'm rather stressed at the moment and sometimes people seem so stupid you wonder how they made it out of childhood, they should have been killed at some point just to prove Darwin correct but I mean, that's in all professions I think. But I really want a job/profession/whatever that makes me want to go to work in the morning or doesn't require me to be up early in the mornings, where I feel I'm making a difference, at least to my own mental/emotional/spiritual wellbeing yet pays enough to live comfortably, not be rich because I really don't care about that, but have enough money to have a nice place, nice shoes and lots of books and be able to travel, I don't think that's too much to ask for. I just feel so antsy all the time like I s/b doing something specific with my life, like what's it all for, am I just wasting time till I die, most days seem the same and time is passing SO FAST, I'll be 40 in two years and what have I really accomplished, will I be remembered for anything other than my sarcastic comments? I want someone/thing to point me in the right direction and tell me "this is what you s/b doing, go do it".

5 Comments:

Blogger Kathryn said...

There are Magic 8 Balls on the Internet, but I don't think that's what you are looking for.

I suggest taking a week off, driving to a town with one hotel, one McDonald's, and one Wal-Mart, and getting a room at that one hotel (ask for the room with the broken TV), and devoting yourself to figuring out what you want to do/be. (I'd recommend my town, but we actually have three hotels.)

4:40 PM  
Blogger sparky said...

The only thing I can add to your post Beann is that you are right that time just flies by as I had mentioned to you before . Never ever did I think I'd ever be 60 and I'm almost there in the wink of an eye . I have no opinion on what you should so with your life . Whatever seems like the right thing to you . Good luck . allan

6:33 AM  
Blogger UrbanStarGazer said...

I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up. I keep thinking it will come to me.

10:59 PM  
Blogger Beanns37 said...

Sigh...

10:58 AM  
Blogger Beanns37 said...

Jilly, I don't know, I'll have to plan another trip, we can go make fun of more shoes :)

12:25 PM  

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