Family

when I was in town a few weeks ago for my HS reunion meeting I of course went by to see my mom, but the actual purpose of my going home was the meeting and I was only there for the day. my uncles birthday happened to be around that time so I told my mom I'd bring his card and gift with me and I figured he'd come by sometime that day and I'd give it to him. this is the same uncle who was drunk as a skunk the last time I saw him in March for my grandmother's birthday. so I'm on my way there around 10:30 in the morning, I left the LA area around 8:30 but it takes me about 2 1/2 hours to get home. unless I left my house at 7 there's no way I'd be in town before 10 and sorry, but I am not getting up at 6 am on a Saturday. so I'm around Gaviota when my mom calls my cell phone to see where I am. I say, I'm on the 101 around Gaviota, which is still about 30-45 minutes away from Santa Maria. then she tells me, your uncle is here and there's a pause. so I'm like, ok, I don't know what you want me to do about that, I'm like 45 minutes away, I can't be there any quicker, if I could materialize there instantaneously I would do that all the time, but I can't so I don't know why you are calling to tell me that. so I just repeat, I'll be there when I get there, if he's still there, great. I mean, they know I'm coming from 165 miles away, why wouldn't he call before coming over to see if I'm there yet if he wants to see me? so I get there, he's gone home of course, whatever, I'll just leave his card and gift with my mom. so I go to my meeting at 2 and get back at 4 and then I'm going to eat and do an errand for my mom and try to get out of town around 6. and my mom tells me, Uncle Bill wants you to come over to the house, he has some pics to show you of the property in Oregon. and I say, no, I'm not going over there, he should have come over here when I was here if he wanted to see me, it's on the opposite side of town and I don't have time. plus I ask her, is he drinking? and she says yes, he sounded like he was. so I'm like, no way, not going. then the phone rings and I tell her, if that's him, I'm not here. so of course it was him and he's asking if I'm back yet and she tells him no so he asks for my cell number (which I gave him a long time ago) and then of course he calls that but I don't pick up. so I eat my gumbo and then go to do my moms errand and I call him back when I'm at OSH and tell him I can't make it over there that day. I can totally tell he's freakin drunk and let me just say, there's no way in HELL I'm going over there BY MYSELF while he's that drunk and hanging out with him, I mean, if he does something inappropriate I'll have to punch him. so he's like, you should come see your grandma, and I'm thinking, she doesn't even know who I am anymore, come on, and then he's like,it's my birthday and I tell him I don't have time to come by, I have to do something for mom and then leave. then he makes a huge mistake and tries to guilt trip me- it's a very short trip because homey don't play that. I don't do guilt trips, that's crap, he starts to whine, oh, so you have time for your friends when you come to town but not your family, and I interrupt him and say, no, everytime I'm in town I see mom but I don't have time to see everyone I'd like to everytime. and I'm thinking but didn't say, if my friends were drunk I wouldn't go see them either you freakin lush. so he's like, ok, all sullen and quiet and I tell him I'm leaving his card and gift with mom and he can pick it up when he gets a chance and he just says ok. but when I get off the phone I call my mom and tell her what a jackass he is and how if he calls her she'd better stand up for me and tell him what an ass he is because he's her freakin brother and I'm not putting up with his shit, I hate it when family acts like you owe them something or like just because you happen to be related you are supposed to cater to them even if you don't like them or they make you uncomfortable, but I do not believe that, if someone makes me that uncomfortable I avoid them as much as humanly possible and I am going to try to never be alone anyplace with him as long as he lives. family members like him are the reason I've made my friends into my family because they actually get it.

Details...

since you asked, here ya go.
Taste of Burbank was fun, I went to his place to meet him, hadn't been there before, met the roommate and her cat, always interesting. here's a fun fact: I've never (really, never) met a cat who didn't like me, they all like me, I think they can tell how much I love cats. this one hissed at me. not normal.
anyway, we are on our way over there, he tells me his oldest son (18) is already there with his GF and her family, do I mind if he calls the son when we get there so we can all meet up? I'm thinking, wow, meeting one of the kids, not sure I'm ready to do that but I tell him it's fine. so we get there, walking around, he calls the son, they find us, nice kid, cute couple, girl is like 16, they are just too cute, really. and they are friendly with good manners, always a plus. we spend maybe 10 minutes talking to them and they have to go. so we walk around, eat all different kinds of food and then after I take him for a drink at a new restaurant then back to his place where we have another drink and make out for a bit and then he wants me to go in the bedroom with him (not for that he says, but we all know where that leads) but it's like 10 and I need to go home anyway, so I say I have to get home and he walks me to my car.
Friday, we email at work most of the day, Saturday I know he has his kids but I have this feeling... he calls Saturday afternoon to see what I'm up to which is exactly zip so he asks if I want to come over and watch a movie or something, meet the other two kids, hang out, if I feel comfortable of course. do I feel comfortable, that's the question. I mean, we've been dating two weeks or so, it's kind of soon to meet the kids but he says they've already heard about me from him and from the oldest kid... so I say sure, I'll come over. I go over around 7, they are both out, one at a movie and the daughter at her friend's but we are going to pick them up later. so we have some wine and talk and then we go to pick up the son, he's 13, he and his friend saw Little Miss Sunshine, how two 13 year olds who looke 11 to me got into an R rated movie is beyond me, but anyway, he's a nice kid, shakes my hand when he meets me, starts talking to me right away, just friendly and outgoing. drop off the friend and go to p/u the daughter, she's 16, she also shakes my hand and we all go to get food, they are in the backseat messing around, just being teenagers, they don't seem to mind that I am there and were just being themselves. we ended up watching Anchor Man with the son while the daughter was online and then on the phone, when I left she came out to say goodbye, I think she was going to hug me but I didn't want to impose on her so I shook her hand again as well as the 13 year old's and took off.
I think that went well, I was invited to come over again yesterday but declined since I didn't want to take both their days with their dad. I think things are going well, still haven't done the deed and I'm good with that, I think I'm in an actual relationship and interested in seeing where it goes.
as for him, he's going to be 46 next month (gift ideas?), he works as a recruiter for a large mortgage company (so similar fields), he's been divorced 10 years, has the three kids, was in a three year relationship after the divorce, makes a decent living and is not cheap and seems to like me a lot. so there ya go, so far I haven't f'd it up and he hasn't annoyed me, it's almost a miracle on par with loaves and fishes and such.

Taste of Burbank

Fifth date tonight and we are going to a taste of Burbank which is, not surprisingly, in Burbank. I am going to go home, straighten my hair (since it is kind of fuzzy today), change out of my knee high black boots, patterned hose and black skirt into jeans and comfy shoes and then meet my friend (?) at his place. Then we will go walk around Burbank and eat stuff and hopefully have alcoholic beverages. Then? I don't know. So far we've kissed and frankly that has been fine with me. I'm not sure I want to take it further than that with him, haven't decided that yet and once you do the deed you can't really go back, can you? I mean, I can't have sex with him and then say, ya know, I think we shouldn't have done that, let's go back to just kissing and holding hands. No, I'd have to break up with him and I do enjoy his company and I like going out with him, it's nice that he's a little older and makes more money than me so he can treat me and I don't feel guilty for letting him so I'm going to wait on the sex I think, don't want to ruin a perfectly good thing and sex just complicates everything anyway...

Third date...

yes, made it past the second date and we are going to dinner tonight at Kabuki in Pasadena for sushi. this guy is really nice although he's very into PDA (public displays of affection) which am not so much into. the hand holding and all is fine but macking in Pottery Barn is not really my thing. I will probably have to put an end to that kind of thing as it makes me uncomfortable. Other than that, he's actually a nice guy, maybe too nice... I'm trying not to fall back into my usual patterns, just take it one date at a time and give him a chance. we'll see how sucessful I am.
I need to find a new career path, so if anyone has any suggestions... I have a bachelors degree in sociology/criminology, 8+ years experience in the financial industry and over 5 years experience training. there's got to be something interesting to do that wouldn't sap my will to live after 2 years.
I love my cat, I really need to post a pic of her, she's just the funniest critter ever and one of the only beings on earth who gives me more peace than stress. everyone should have a pet/friend/thing to love like Monkee.
that's all.

Day before yesterday

I have a lot of first dates, many don't get beyond that point. Either I'm not interested or they aren't or they seem to be but don't call or... I hate dating. I feel like Charlotte, I've been doing this since I was 16 (with a 5 year hiatus whilst married), so where the hell is he?
Monday was Labor Day and I was off, three day weekends are the best except you want to go back to work even less afterwards. And that day I had yet another first date, daytime, we were meeting for coffee at Starbucks in Burbank since I had to go to Target anyway. He's 45, can you believe it, old enough to be the dad to some of the guys I've dated. Crazy man. So our quick coffee date turned into a 6 hour coffee/lunch/icecream/walkaroundtown date. Seems like a good start. Our second date is tonight, meeting in Pasadena for happy hour at 5:30. Wish me luck that he doesn't end up being a dumbass and that I don't say something incredibly stupid.