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Me playing pool last Friday, I am actually decent when I'm not too drunk... I think I was barely passable this night :)

Violence

I wonder if I'm abnormally angry/violent or if everyone thinks about killing the other drivers on the road on a daily basis? I get enraged so quickly at how incredibly crappy people drive, it's not just cutting me off altho that drives me nuts, but also when they are going 60 in the fast lane and the speed limit is 65 plus if you are in the fast lane you had better be going at least 75 or there's a good chance you are going to get rear ended or when they can't decide which damn lane they actually want to be in and use two or the ones who suddenly make a right turn from the left lane because they didn't realize they had to go there, I mean, what's that about? They almost side swipe you and then look confused when I honk at them and flip them off. I mean, I know I have a bad temper and get angry really quickly but on the other hand, even with all my murderous thoughts I've never actually been in a physical fight with anyone but my older brother and even then not since I was a teenager, I've never hit anyone or threatened anyone but when I'm driving I seriously want to just kill people, am I insane or is this normal?

Hump day

Monday night got a call from the Saturday date guy but I was closing at SB so didn't see the missed call till later and didn't have chance to call back. Yesterday was in Target and missed another call from him, my reception in stores just sucks, and then by the time I got home it was 8 pm and I wanted to watch the Gilmour Girls and then Scrubs so didn't call back. Called today and was thinking, ok, am going to tell him I'm not interested, I'm going to do it, this is it. But he was at work and there were obviously people in his office because he was talking to people off and on and I'm at work and people walk by and so I chickened out of course. He did say he thought I was avoiding him when I didnt' call back right away, perhaps I should have just said, yes I was, because I wasn't sure how to say... but I didn't take the opportunity so now I have to tell him tomorrow when I said I'd call back. On a positive note I am supposed to go out with the Scotsman on Saturday, I am much more excited about that, it s/b a ball... ha ha, get it?
Then I get another phone call on my cell last night, didn't hear it ring yet again, some guy I met at my friend's birthday party Friday, I so don't remember giving him my number and for the life of me I can't really recall what his face looks like, so I called my friend to ask her and she didn't pick up so I call him back and I'm chatting with him and he's like, I'm the one you were coaching at pool, blah blah, that rings a bell but still can't picture his face, then Jen calls back but I'm still on the phone, finally he invites me to his birthday shindig Friday, but I already have plans, I tell him I'll come by if I can and then I call Jen back and she thinks it's the funniest thing ever that I gave him my number and can't remember him but she does tell me he's cute, so that's good, didn't give my number to some random ugly guy just a random young cute guy, I think perhaps I had a bit too much to drink...

Breaking up is hard to do...

I need some input here. The guy I went out with on Friday is a v. nice guy and all, ok, a little loud and full of himself but really, for LA, not bad and he likes me. However, I just don't feel ANY spark with him, we went to sushi (yummy btw) for dinner then picked up a couple of movies (Derailed, pretty good and Mirrormask, v. odd but interesting) and watched them at my pad and then after the movies he finally got up enough nerve (half a bottle of wine may have helped also) to make a move and we ended up making out for like a half hour. And during this makeout session what is Beanns thinking of? What I needed to get at Target and the grocery store and how to get him out of my apartment so I could go to sleep. Absolutely no sparks, I could see hanging out with him but I never want to make out with him again and as for more, no way that's happening. So I have to tell him somehow and as outspoken as I am I'm really bad at this which is why I usually do a dissapearing act, stop taking phone calls, become completely unavailable till they get the hint. I'm really trying to be more adult about it lately tho, so I don't want to do that, but the last two I broke things off with or stopped before it got going got ugly, and this is a friend of my friend so I don't want it to end that way. What I need are suggestions, things I could say that would work, let the guy know I'm not interested romantically but that won't hurt his feelings too badly. Can a girl get some help dumping someone please?

Social and Love Life

just realized my title could mean two things: one, I'm social and love life or two, a post about my social life and love life. of course it is the second of these two, not the first, not that I'm non-social and don't just love life to death, but that's not on my mind today.
tonight I am going out for my friend Jenn's birthday celebration, first to a billiard place in Glendale and then to a place called Miss Kitty's Parlour which is a fetish bar and s/b interesting, it's in Hollyweird and we are going there late, around 11 by which time most will already be completely drunk but we are taking a cab which had to be arranged in advance because you can't just get a cab on the street in LA. I'm wearing jeans and a cute top to the poolhall but I'm wearing black kneehigh boots, fishnets, a VERY short (it's a size 4 and I am a size 6, so even shorter than it would normally be on a size 4 person) black mini skirt, a sheer black blouse over a black lace bra and that's about it, I am supposed to play along and look slutty so that's what I'm doing. I really need a pedicure, like REALLY badly, otherwise I might wear very high strappy sandals but I can't do it since I don't have time to get my toes done. I think it s/b good enough though, guess it will have to be. if I end up with pics I will attempt to post them altho my other attempts at posting pics here have not succeeded so far.
I spoke to the Ren Faire guy last night on the phone, he can't do anything this weekend because he has his kid but that's ok, fatherhood comes first and next weekend he said he'd come see me all the way from Orange, so that might end up being a lot of fun. tomorrow I am going for a picnic or something with a guy I went out with a couple of weeks ago, I don't think I am sexually attracted to him at all but I'm trying to give it more time as he is nice and seems to like me. and of course Sunday I have to work at SB, no surprise there.
I am here at work wearing no makeup at all, I rarely wear makeup to work or even out unless it's someplace worth it, and not because I think I don't need to wear makeup, which is what my friends tell me but because 1) I am lazy and don't wake up in time to put it on and 2) it makes me feel icky and greasy w/in an hour so I don't like to wear it. so many of my friends won't leave the house w/out some on but I just don't care anymore, if someone has a problem with my not wearing the stuff they can look away or bite me or whatever.
happy weekend everyone!

Mmm, chocolate

today is a horrible day for diets here at work, we are having a potluck for one girl who's leaving us and then another guys birthday celebration is today, and omg, the cake is insane, I haven't finished my small piece and I've been nibbling on it for an hour and a half, it's like four layers of chocolate with chocolate fudge type filling between the cake layers and chocolate frosting on top and then chocolate shavings, it's not really sweet but SO rich I think I'm going into a chocolate coma and if I do, please don't wake me up because it will be the first real rest I've gotten in the last few months.

Tuesday Wednesday, stay in bed

boy would I love it if I could stay in bed both days, just sleep for like 36 hours or so, a semi hibernation or maybe a light coma, that would be heaven...
but instead I am at work and I have to work tonight at SB till closing which I'm sure will be fun (actually there's a good chance that it will be, at least parts) and I get my tips tonight from last week so I will have spending money for the week, that's always nice and yes, I am actually paying off some bills, I get paid from SB on Friday and have the money earmarked: pay $100 on my visa and put $25 in my IRA that I started w/my tax return this year and I get to spend the rest this weekend. I'm being fairly good financially, and I am proud of that, I even have about $400 in short term savings at the moment, I know, that's really nothing esp considering what I make but I was keeping like $25, seriously, how sad is that? so it's a vast improvement besides opening an IRA and upping my 401(k) contributions by 2 percent to 8 percent after getting my annual increase, I may actually get my credit cards paid off by year end like I am planning and then all I will owe on is my car and land in Oregon which are under $10,000 together so not a big deal. and if I do all that I will have a lot more freedom to decide what I really want to do and then go do it which is the whole point. so that's all I really have to say for today except, whoever can name the band that sings the song mentioned in my title today gets a prize.

Scotsmen love their kilts...

So I had an interesting weekend... Saturday I went to the Renaissance Faire here in So Cal, I go with my friend Karla almost every year, it's a fun time, eat drink and make merry and all that. I have never dressed up however so this year I decided I wanted to and rented a costume at the Faire, just a skirt, top and corset, and boy do they strap you into those corsets, you can barely breathe but I didn't care, I looked cute and it was all for fun. I noticed a guy also renting a costume, it was a red plaid kilt and a cotton top, he was pretty cute and was smiling at me. Then later I saw him again when I was getting mead and my friend was getting Guinness, he was getting a drink too, he got done and we were standing there with our drinks and I say to him "so are you a real Scotsman" because if he is they don't wear anything under their kilts and instead of telling me anything he shows me that he is indeed a real Scotsman, in front of everyone getting their drinks, my friend, his friends, etc. I have to say I wasn't expecting that exactly but it was funny as hell and not bad to look at, altho I was in a bit of shock, I was laughing my ass off and he came over and gave me a kiss on the cheek (no, not that one!) and then Karla and I were standing around drinking our beverages and he and his friends came past and we ended up walking with them and I talked to him basically the rest of the day, his name is David he lives in Orange which is pretty far from Tujunga, he's 31 has a little boy works in sales, etc, got to know quite a bit about him, kissed him a few times and got his number. I called yesterday and he said he'd call back later in the week, so who knows where that will go, probably nowhere but ya never know and it all came about because I asked if he was a real Scotsman...
Easter Sunday I had to work, I'm not really Christian anyway so it doesn't matter to me, I was just tired and didn't want to work 7 hours but oh well. went in at 10:30 am worked till 6:15 pm, crappy way to spend a Sunday. anyway, I wanted to recount an interaction with a customer, I may seem like the biggest b*tch after you read this, but really, some of our customers are freakin insane and make me crazy. this old lady, I swear, she nuts, she comes in and orders her drink, a short soy latte, not a big deal, but has to repeat herself, each part of the order, like 3 times, I am not exaggerating, I mean, what am I, an idiot that you need to repeat yourself over and over to me, somehow I'm retarded and can't understand a simple freakin order? "I want a double cupped, that's two cups, double cupped, soy, it needs to be soy, ok?, soy, with foam, make sure it has foam", never says latte, so I say, a short soy latte? yes, that's what she wants, that comes with foam anyway, you old bat, just order it correctly and you won't have to freak out about it, pays with cash, wants a receipt for this whole $2 transaction which has to be printed separately, whatever, then wants a pastry, why do they need to be ordered and paid for separately, no idea, she's a freak, motions me over to the pastry case, points to the blueberry scones, one of those, but not from the top, not from the top, from the middle, the middle, I get one, it breaks because it's smooshed between other scones, have to get a second one, by now I'm so freakin irritated I can't be nice, I put it on the counter, she pays her $1.65 with cash, receipt AGAIN, and I'm not even smiling or saying thank you, I just need her to get the hell away from me before I lunge across the counter at her and she's like, all sweet "thank you, thank you" guess she has to say that multiple times too, and I just look at her and she wanders off to get her drink. I swear to god or goddess, people make me freakin nuts sometimes, I don't know what the hell is wrong with them but they need to stay the heck away from me because I have no patience for their insanity. so maybe I'm just mean to old ladies, but seriously, I can't handle people like her, maybe it's just me.

More on the home invasion

so apparently the woman who was robbed thought one of the men looked familiar and after thinking about it now thinks it was one of the maintenance men who've been in the apartments recently. now I'm thinking, greeaaat, if they weren't targeted specifically, I could be on the list to get robbed, the only good thing is that I am on the second floor so more difficult oh and the fact that from a visual standpoint I don't have anything good to take, my tvs are old and small, my pc is used, and that's really all there is in my apartment besides books and clothes. I do love my clothes but hopefully men wouldn't be interested in taking them. even all my good jewelry is kept in a lock box and my guns. so now my lockbox has been removed from my house and my two best coats, but that's really all I can do. I am looking for a new apartment of course but don't know if/when I'll find one I can afford in a decent neighborhood. so wish me good luck in my search, I think I will need it.
I work tonight, kind of not happy about that, don't like leaving my apt uninhabited all day, but asked my downstairs neighbor to keep an ear/eye out for anyone going upstairs that shouldn't be. and I left lights on and the radio so hopefully it won't seem as empty. sigh.
other than that not much going on, am going to ren faire this weekend with my friend Karla, that s/b fun, have to close Friday and work Sunday most of the day but I gave away my Saturday shift so I could do something fun. I am hopefully even going to dress up so I may have some pics to post afterwards :)

Time for a move?

Saturday night, getting ready to go out to the Mix, friend from SB is having birthday gathering there, I notice helicopter circling round our building, bright lights and all that, freaking Monkee out. figure something is going on in the area, but no reason to think it's my building. get a call a few minutes before I'm going to leave, there was a home invasion robbery in my building, which is only 12 units so it was just down the walk from me, two men with guns came in thru the sliding door on the balcony, tied the couple up in the bathroom with tape and took everything of value. they did get free from the tape but their phones had been smashed so they had to go to other apartments until they found a phone to use to call the cops who apparently responded w/in five minutes. so my friend is telling me to be careful when I leave and come home, but you know, I leave and come home after dark all the time now due to SB, so that's a little freaky. guess I need to find a new place to live, I'm sure nothing is going to happen to me esp as I live on the 2nd floor, but who knows? damn criminals...
On the plus side, my Friday date was good, he brought me a white rose, took me for French food and then we went for coffee and then to my place for a bit then went and played pool. he's nice but a little loud and crass, not sure if I see myself going out with him for a long time but I'm going to give him a chance.

TGIF and all that

Here's a bit of trivia for you or a tip or an FYI, whatever... when hardboiling an egg, if you get distracted, walk away for, oh let's say 45 minutes or so, and all the water boils away, your egg, when hot enough, will explode, and your house will smell like sulpher the rest of the night. Also, your pot will be unusable after that, so the plus is that I get to go buy another pot and the negative was egg on the floor, the mini heart attack when it exploded in the other room and the smell.

I have a date tonight, it's a friend of my friend Mike, he's a regular at SB and I met this friend at his birthday party last Saturday. He called Wednesday to ask me to dinner tonight. I'm hoping we go for sushi, haven't had it in quite a while and spicy tuna rolls sound yummy. Tomorrow night it's another SB birthday so going out again, Sunday I am going to try to just go to work, go to the gym, go home and do laundry and clean my house. My poor cat misses me so much she's been crying whenever I'm home and following me around the house, I think I need to spend a little more time there.

I like this quote

A house without a cat, and a well-fed, well-petted, and properly revered cat, may be a perfect house, perhaps, but how can it prove its title? - Mark Twain, The Tragedy of Pudd'nhead Wilson

That's really all I have to say at present.

Weekend update

Have you ever been so tired your heart actually hurt, sort of felt like you might have a heart attack? I think I got about 26 hours of sleep last week over 6 days, three nights I got 3 hours or less and by Sunday I felt so terrible I thought I was going to die at SB. Friday night I went out to a bar at the Citywalk, I was only going to stay for a while anyway, which I did, but then a friend from SB called, she was depressed, having car trouble and wanted to go out but no transpo, so I picked her up and we went to the Mix, played pool and drank, I think I had about 11 drinks that night and never even got drunk, and then had to drop her off, got home around 3 and was up at 9, spent the morning in Glendale with friends, worked from 1-5, then went to a friend's birthday dinner and then to a bar for drinks, was only going for a while, but surprise surprise, stayed until 2 which was actually 3 with the time change, had to get up at 6:15 to work at 7:15, thus the feeling horrible all day Sunday, then yesterday I didn't come to work because I was nauseous in the morning, and SO tired, I slept from 9:15 sunday night till 10:15 Monday morning. Yesterday did almost nothing, just rested (did go to the gym tho, hadn't gone in 3 weeks due to being sick, I had to go), got my hair cut (she took off like 3 inches even tho I said 1 inch), went to bed by 9:30 and slept till 5:45, I'm STILL tired but not dead feeling at least. I can't keep doing that tho, no more weeks like the last one, too much emotional drama and not enough rest is not good for Jean. I think I need a new job/personal life/life in general... or maybe I'm still just tired. but, I am definitely not going to be myself at work anymore, altho I'm getting a good raise because I demanded it, I read my VPs review comments and I am not happy about many of them. Yes, I am tardy quite often, but that's because I have to take 4 freeways to get to work and if there's an accident on one of them I'm screwed, usually I'm early, but if I'm late I'm really late, so I was dinged for that even tho she knows that I can't really control that. Also dinged for the way I dress even tho I'm one of the best dressed people here, I'm not just saying that, you should see the way some of these people dress, but sometimes a top shows a little cleavage, so even tho others wear T-shirts that aren't even allowed, or pants so tight they can't breathe, I get dinged for that too. And lastly that I am too opinionated, well, that's true, I am, but everyone knows that, it's just the way I am, but I always help people no matter how idiotic I think they are, I just voice my opinion, but when we go over my review on Thursday I am not going to have an opinion at all, I'm just going to let her say whatever, and go over my goals and that's going to be it. I volunteer for all kinds of extra stuff that I don't get recognition for or any kind of monetary compensation, but apprently that doesn't make up for the fact that I have a big mouth, so I guess I might as well not do those extra things anymore. Sorry, this was a major rant but I'm annoyed and it helps me if I write it out.